My room smells like vodka and shame
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
