how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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