Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
