It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
