I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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