Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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