Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
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