Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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