Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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