I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
