im about as happy as oj after his trial
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
