I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
