Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
