In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
