4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
