When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Randomize
