There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
