if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
