I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
