I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
