I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
