I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
