He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
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shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
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I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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