I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
