That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
