what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
