8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
