i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
