I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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