Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
