All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
