She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
