I'm really into asian looking animals
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
