The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
