these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
