i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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