with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
