pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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