your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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