I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize