I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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