STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
You are a genius and a whore.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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