I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
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you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
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He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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