I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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