I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
