i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
