I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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