If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
