So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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