Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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