She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
