Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
