I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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