he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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