you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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