no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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