Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
