I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
