It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
