I wannas sexs uuuuu
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
