Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
