all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
