girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
