So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
